CURRENTLY AT LAGE, WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN

On Saturday afternoon, I excitedly closed my shop early, a spring in my step as I locked the shutters and made my way down to my waiting car. My 13 year old daughter was mightily upset that I had forgone a visit to my recently born God-daughter, whom I had to yet to meet, to instead get home as early as I could to watch my beloved old gold and black sporting heroes. 

Good god that was a mistake. I’d  have rather poured acid into my belly button for 90 minutes frankly. It was truly dire. 10 outfield Wolves players, not one of which seemed to grasp the fundamentals of the game require you to put the round thing into the other teams net.

The line up was baffling, our worst performing full back in the centre, our best central midfielder, whom had been getting further and further back in every game, was now in central defence. Next game he would have been in goal and the one after that a steward for the Stan Cullis stand, had Bruno stayed, I’m certain.

Up front we had a borrower. I actually really like Danny P, but at 3 foot 2, he is hardly an outlet through the middle is he? Guedes, having been playing centrally for Valencia was, kind of, but not really on the wing. And at times the furthest player forward for us was Otto, the aforementioned under performing wing back, that supposed to be part of a back 3, I think?

It was impossible to figure out what formation or tactics we were supposed to be playing, I’m thankful I wasn’t giving the match report (not that I’d be asked, I’m here because I write silly boll*%!s), as I wouldn’t know where to start.

Bruno had seemingly ran out of ideas, was put forward to me by a fellow fan. I’m sorry, what? When did he have any bloody ideas exactly? Last season, barring the first three games, which ironically I thought we looked really tasty, we played Nuno’s tactics, only not as well and this season, apart from 4 at the back, what has changed? An extra midfielder in Neves, who sits so deep he may as well be in the stand behind the goal.

I’ve read that behind the scenes he was very well liked. Not liked enough for any of the players to turn up for him on a match day, but still. 

I’m honestly wondering now if he wanted to get the sack. I mean that line up on Saturday is the kind of thing I used to do in LMA Manager 2002 to get my second player, after pilfering all the players I could, sacked.

But as our mighty city motto says:

“out of darkness, cometh light”

There was one saving grace for me on Saturday and that was when the big lad came on in the second half. God I love me a stirrer on the field. Always have, always will. There is nobody like him in the modern game anymore, the player that will wind up the opposing players and fans and probably get a few reds along the way, but god it’s funny when they do. And entertaining.

Diego Costa’s movement was fantastic. Even at 33, his sense of positioning was spot on and he still has speed over 5 to 10 yards. He went a touch early for our disallowed goal granted, but this is the first time he has played since December last year. Let that sink in, the first game of proper, professional football in almost a year. And despite this, he was, in my humble opinion ( and opinions are like orgasms, we all have them, but I couldn’t care less about anyone else’s, just my own), our best player in a 20 minute or so cameo.

After the game, I had moved firmly into the Bruno out club, as our writers WhatsApp group can attest.

Sunday, he got the boot. Ruthlessly according to the Sun. Ruthless?? He had 1 win in 15, played multiple players out of position and I’m not even sure he was playing the same sport at times, a new born baby deer is more ruthless, the board gave him ample time to improve. He didn’t. 

Now the quest is on to find a new guy to come in. Obviously I’m bias here, but chances are you are too, seeing as you’re on a wolves fan website, but personally I think Wolverhampton Wanderers must be a very tempting prospect for any manager, barring the truly elite champions league winning guys obviously. A young, hungry squad. All speak the same language, Portuguese, but most importantly the squad is so much better than the current league table position would suggest, plus they have a lot of time to come in and get to know the players and possibly strengthen in January.

There’s a lot of managers out of work at the moment that could fit the bill nicely. Is Ted Lasso available?

Anyway, apologies for the football rant. It’s less nonsensical than normal, don’t worry it will be back to random rubbish next week.

#wolvesnextmanagershouldbethatguythatwonthatthing lets get it trending!