SEAN STANTON WILL MAKE YOU CHUCKLE WITH HIS THOUGHTS ON RUBEN NEVES
Although the bible tells you not to worship false phrophets, I think Jesus himself would understand why Ruben Neves is like a God to the Wolves fans.
I think he would also understand why, if Ruben does leave, we want him to go abroad.
Out of sight. Out of mind.
Below is the Parable of Ruben Neves, which explains in layman’s terms why we don’t want Ruben to move to another club in this country.
parable/ˈparəbl/noun
- a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, as told by Jesus in the Gospels.
RUBEN JOINED WOLVES AT THE START OF THE 17/18 SEASON
Six years ago you met a girl and you fell in love.
RUBEN GOT BETTER AND BETTER
As the years went by your girlfriend became more and more beautiful.
RUBEN STARTED TO ATTRACT INTEREST FROM A RICH CLUB
A wealthy man started sniffing around your girlfriend.
RUBEN WAS IMPRESSED BECAUSE THE RICH CLUB WAS BIGGER THAN WOLVES
The wealthy man was very well endowed.
RUBEN LEFT WOLVES AND JOINED THE OTHER CLUB
Your girlfriend dumped you for the well endowed, wealthy man.
RUBEN’S RICHER AND BIGGER CLUB WAS IN THE SAME LEAGUE AS WOLVES
To male matters worse. The well endowed wealthy man lived next door.
RUBEN PROSPERED AT HIS NEW CLUB. WINNING TROPHIES, SCORING LOADS OF SCREAMERS AND HIS FACE WAS ALL OVER THE PAPERS AND THE NEWS
Every night you could hear your ex girlfriends cries of joy and loud moans of pleasure as the well endowed wealthy man made love to her. The sound of their headboard banging up against the wall kept you awake for hours on end.
THE CLUB RUBEN HAD LEFT WOLVES TO JOIN WAS LIVERPOOL FC
And to rub salt into the wound your girlfriends new bloke was a f#cking scouser.
AND SO ENDS THE PARABLE OF RUBEN NEVES
ARTICLE BY SEAN STANTON
Born in Wolverhampton. Raised in Dudley, Drank in the Beacon in Sedgley until he had children. Now drinks at home.