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NEW DAD SARABIA WELCOMES TWINS BUT WILL HE BE READY TO START AGAINST FOREST?

Wolves fans are already getting involved in heated debates about who should and shouldn’t be in the starting line up against Forest on Saturday.

Whoever Julen Lopetegui picks for this crucial, vital, potentially season defining game has got to be 100% prepared both physically and mentally and that is why Pablo Sarabia can’t be considered.

To be honest, I would probably have started Pablo but as soon as I heard he’d just become a Dad I thought “Bench him”

Then when I saw it was twins I knew he must not be involved on Saturday in any capacity whatsoever.

Pablo might look proud and happy in that photo with his newborn offspring but by the time the Forest match comes around he’ll have experienced a week of fatherhood.

No sleep.

No food on the table.

No washing, ironing or cleaning done.

He’ll be fending for himself and it will probably have dawned on him that the babies had already replaced him as numero uno in his wife’s affections.

And to add insult to injury the little f#ckers will probably have pee’d, pooed and puked all over him as well.

Seven days into fatherhood I had become a mere shell of a man. An empty vessel and that was just one kid. Not twins.

By 3pm on Saturday poor Pablo will be broken. A shadow of his former self. Hollowed out by a lack of kip, a lack of nutrition and a lack of affection.

He might seem ok to the outside world and I’m pretty sure he’ll assure his manager and team mates that’s he’s in tip top condition (At this point he’d probably say anything just to get out the house) but inside he’ll be on the verge of cracking.

Instead of hearing the roar of the crowd it’ll be the endless screaming of his two newborn’s  echoing around his head.

Instead of seeing that pass through to the striker, in his mind Pablo will be seeing nappies. Horrible, smelly dirty ones, piling up in the corner, giving off an unpleasant pungent aroma. 

In short. Poor Pablo will be in no fit mental state to play. He must be left out for his own sake and for the sake of the team.

In a match that, in light of recent events, will require discipline and composure the last thing the team needs is a tired and emotional new Father.

And I reckon if Forest manage to win the game and the posing, prima donna, ex Wolves protégé Gibbs White repeats his celebration from the Carabao Cup match and sprints 80 yards before knee sliding in front of the Wolves fans, poor stressed out Pablo could snap.This might result in him taking out his frustrations on young Morgan by kicking him with all the force he can muster in a very delicate part of his anatomy, thus rendering him unable to consider any pleasures of the flesh for a couple of days..

Come to think of it, maybe new dad Pablo should play after all.

Sean Stanton

article by Sean Stanton

Born in Wolverhampton. Raised in Dudley, Drank in the Beacon in Sedgley until he had children. Now drinks at home.

If you enjoyed this article why not have a rEad of Sean’s blog onWolves Conspiracy Theories.

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